Michael Barrett’s 2009 Year in Review Photostream…
2009 Means smiling faces of little ancient soul grandchildren -
Michael Barrett's Grandchildren...
laughing, loving and shining God through their piercing, radiant eyes…
Year 2009 in review.
Bless my new extended family, all my old dear friends, my lovely children and their children and Alexandra.
Wow…
What a year - change, growth, expansion, tears, joy, pain, love, forgiveness, personal transformation, release, clearing, closure.
The year began in California where times were tough. But something beautiful took place there.
We found Ananda Palo Alto.
Ananda Palo Alto
What an amazing and spiritually pure place.
People walk their talk and God is always present because God is welcomed and acknowledged in every action, every word and every deed - every moment, all the time.
I love Ananda and all the people I met there who accepted me unconditionally for who I am and who I grew to love and appreciate in a deeply profound way that was a new experience for me in my life.
After all my years of training, my heart chakra opened fully for the first time during a Sunday morning service and meditation.
It was a major accomplishment for me and a gift - one that I fully understood and was aware of as it took place.
I found that the spiritual task of practicing ‘forgiving myself’ - as instructed by Asha Praver - was something that I did poorly although I diligently made an effort to do so.
For me it was something much easier said than done. I found that I was both angry at myself and many people in my life.
Over time, it became clear to me that much of that anger I had been carrying in my heart for a long, long time.
It did not serve me yet I did not know what to do about it.
Once again - easy to talk about - and entirely different to resolve and heal within myself in practical application.
Being part of Ananda for 5 months changed my life. Bless you all and bless your kindness, love and beautiful open hearts.
The search for learning how to forgive myself led me to find Pamela Gregory, which and led me to Dr. Ed Carlson, Heart Forgiveness and Core Health in St. Petersburg, Florida.
The next phase was the time I spent in Montana.
This was the first time I lived there in over 20 years.
The view on the west side of the Bitterrot Valley
It was a painful time, yet such a joyful time, spending two wonderful months with my grandchildren and three of my kids.
The Bitterroot Valley is such a beautiful place. The river, the mountains, the sunsets and the sky at night.
And all the 6 little beautiful beings who are my grandchildren - such joy and love and clarity and newness and excitement about life.
And my amazing beautiful daughters Arabella and Tahahlita and my son Lucky.
Arabella and Tahahlita
It was so nice to see them and love them and be in their presence and feel their kindness and their beauty as human beings and young adults.
What a blessed man I am.
I can remember often telling friends of mine (when my son was a little boy) what a cool and kind person he was naturally and how I couldn’t wait until he was older so we could talk and have a beer together because he was such good company and such a fine and considerate human being.
Well in 2009, we had that beer - a few of them actually. We got together in Half Moon Bay and then again in Walnut Creek and then again several times in Montana before I headed east in June.
Lucky at age 11
It’s truly amazing the inherent joy that exists between a father and his children - without words or explanation.
Lucky more recently...
How our DNA creates an extension of us through our children - through the expression of their own individuality and consciousness - is a miracle that never ceases to amaze me.
This aspect of ‘family consciousness’ is even more pronounced with a relationship between a man and his grandchildren - perhaps because
all the emotional trauma, changes and debris between parents and their kids is not there.
Off to see the wizard...
Also as young children the grandchildren are still young and clean and pure and whole without judgment.
Apparently, Halloween was fun this year…
Pamela Gregory
During this time, I met Pamela Gregory online via Facebook and we became close friends. She became my adviser and worked with me closely with EFT to help me heal some deep seated issues in my life.
In many ways Pamela was my angel. She was contacted by a man named Neil Habgood - our connection to Dr. Ed Carlson. BTW, Neil has subsequently become a very close friend and associate.
He is a good man.
The Next Phase Was Heading East…
Dr. Ed Carlson and Michael Barrett
In early June, it was off to North Carolina to meet Dr. Ed Carlson the first time and spend a private intensive weekend with him training in Heart Forgiveness. The setting and the energy was magnificent - flowering trees and fragrances - high atop a ridge in the Blue Ridge mountains.
Wow…
On July 4th, Sarasota, Florida became home. What a change this was for me personally. I had been to Florida on three previous occasions in Jacksonville and Orlando and had absolutely no desire to be there.
In spite of that perspective, suddenly I felt a strong pull to Florida - a deep and intuitive voice calling me to follow my heart and take the risk, let go and that all would be provided for.
I listened to my intuition and without a plan, without resources, without family, connections or friends there, the west coast of Florida was where I landed. I found the energy attractive and clean and expansive for me - and curiously enough, it felt like home almost immediately.
Expansion, Rapid Change and Inner Turmoil…
The remainder of the year has been a period of immense expansion energetically and Spiritually.
And throughout the process of this expansion, rapid change has been the primary ingredient - fueled both by the choice to grow and the desire to change.
It also became clear to me that wanting change is not enough. Acting upon it and being willing to fully accept what happens is another piece of the puzzle and the experience. From a practical standpoint, real concrete change required release of all the old baggage in my life.
If you have ever done a sincere fast, one of the side effects is to release a lot of toxin into the body as you cleanse.
Something else about Spiritual growth and energetic expansion, once you start there is no going back. Once you know, you can never “un-know”.
In many ways, the period of time from July through December 2009 has been a continuous series of Spiritual and energetic fasts and cleansings…
The freeing and clearing process has been comprehensive, accentuated by Qigong, Tibetan Yoga, Meditation, Siesta Key, the Mighty I AM Presence and an active and accelerated training program in Core Health and Heart Forgiveness.
Receiving my certificate...
In December I received my certification as a Core Health Facilitator.
The Universe Is Shifting
That the Universe is shifting to align with the new awareness of mankind that is emerging has magnified the overall experience immensely. In many ways it has been a deeply moving and turbulent year - with highly charged emotion and energy as a by-product of massive cleansing and release.
So much transition…
As I ponder the depth of the love that is expanding within me and throughout my consciousness and energy, I am filled with joy, awe and an unspeakable understanding.
What an honor this experience has been and what a huge blessing and opportunity it is.
During 2005-2009, there were so many changes in my life and I met some absolutely amazing people. It was period of real transformation for me. Starting with the dynamic experience traveling as a staffer with Peak Potentials, a self-development seminar company for 18 months. Prior to that, I had only flown occasionally. But with Peak I was on planes in and out of 28 venues all around North America - and it was exciting.
We met so many people on planes, in airports, riding shuttles to hotels, as well as the 20,000 - or so - people who attended the seminars as participants. I learned how cultures varied in different cities and locations. I worked on events in Orlando, Dallas, Los Angeles (multiple times), Secaucus, Seattle, Morley - Alberta - Canada, Ellenville New York in the catskills, Vancouver - BC, Pemberton - BC, San Diego, Calif, Beaumont, CA (near Palm Springs), Atlanta.
In addition, I met and got to know staff at the hotel and resort venues, at airports, people riding shuttles, people waiting for planes, eating at restaurants. The High Energy Core Team staffers that worked for Peak Potentials bonded and we became a very close knit extended family. These were high caliber people with brains, a sense of humor, talent and energy. So just being in their presence on a regular basis has a positive impact on our lives.
Being on staff enabled me to meet and develop personal relationships with some of the top speakers and trainers around in the self development world - what an exciting experience.
Helping participants grow and break through their personal barriers also added to our own personal transformation because whenever others grow and improve within our presence, we also benefit.
Not only did I participate on staff for the Peak events, I attended them, met another ~2500 people more intimately as a participant, and had my own personal transformations and breakthroughs.
I also lived in many places.
I lived in Seattle, Scranton - PA, Atlantic City - NJ, Wildwood at the Jersey Shores, Goochland - VA, Atlanta - GA, Maidens - VA, Menlo Park - CA and Hamilton - MT.
Some for several months at a time up to a year and a half.
Cross country trips
Beginning in 2006, I made three cross country trips by car - round trip. You learn a lot about yourself and the country you live in when you drive through it. The people you meet, the experiences you have and the beauty you see of this magnificent planet teach us more about who we are and remind us where we came from. You also see the kindness inherent in human nature and this can heal so many things within us. Cross country trips affirmed for me that America is full of kind and generous people.
Other teachers during that time period include a wonderful personal relationship, major national economic upheaval, a personal financial roller coaster dealing with issues around investments, integrity, self esteem and a fairly comprehensive study of the Law of Attraction.
Facebook has brought quality tuned-in people into my life - many of them.
Over the last few months, my extended family has grown immensely through the wonderful friends I have made on Facebook in many countries. I have learned so much, have received so much loving support and created a deep appreciation for the magnitude of technology and it’s impact, not only on social consciousness, but also the collective consciousness.
A number of my Facebook friends have become as close to me as my friends from Peak Potentials.
Pamela Gregory and Dr Ed Carlson
Through Pamela Gregory, one of those rare and amazing people that changes your life when you know them - and part of my new Facebook family - I met a man named Dr. Ed Carlson
Dr. Carlson founded a healing modality he named “Core Health” that is , in my opinion, revolutionizing how we grow consciously. This system realigns the energy body - kind of like replacing the natural defaults for health and purity we all started with as children.
In June 2009, I went through my initial training with Dr. Carlson and we have mutually agreed that I am going to accomplish my Core Health Facilitator Certification before the year is out. In addition, I am incorporating this effective method into my own training programs and physical training repertoire. It is an amazing tool to put in your tool belt.
And I believe it is going to change my life forever adding missing pieces of understanding I have been searching for since 1971.
Ananda - Palo Alto
Another huge piece of the puzzle was solved for me when I found Ananda. Through my experience attending services there, meditation classes and many group functions, I met some of the most loving and conscious people in my life.
Ananda was a big part of finding part of my Soul again. Truly, this part of my extended family really changed my life. This is the first time that I can remember where I have truly experienced unconditional love.
Another thing happened at Ananda that I have been striving to accomplish most of my adult life. My heart chakra opened up for the first time. Having been blessed with two very powerful teachers in Qigong and martial arts who helped me to open and balance my channel chi meridians, I have been practicing qigong regularly since 1988.
The meditation, the singing, the chanting and purification practices I studied and practiced at Ananda empowered me to accomplish something that neither qigong master was able to stimulate in me. For the first time, my heart chakra actually opened up during a service one day.
In February 2009, a friend handed me a little book about a series of 5 exercises called the Tibetan Rites - an ancient Tibetan method of physical rejuvenation through exercise.
I am convinced that practicing this series of exercises, coupled with the energy from Ananda, daily meditation and qigong practice empowered me to open my heart chakra.
A Time of Change
It has been a time of massive change - not just for me personally - but for the country and the world. There are so many other experiences, great books, tele-seminars, blog discussions that contributed significantly to my growth and expansion - too many to mention in this post.
But the bottom line is I have morphed and am a new man who is learning to be more grateful, more loving and stronger than ever before.
What I learned:
How to cry
How to love deeply and truly
How to forgive
Compassion
How it feels like to be invisible and alone
What commitment means
How to be a good listener
Listen to my intuition
Everything that happens in our life is a choice
I found my soul again
You never know what you know until you do.
Blessings of gratitude, love and light.
Michael Barrett, Florida, July 2009
You know it’s a bugger when a professional baseball player has the same name you do because it’s often hard to get the screen name you want for blogs and social media sites and other domains - they are already taken…
So I often use the name of the book I wrote, “Healthy Wealthy Boomer” as a screen name.
This photo stream is a pictorial story of my life journey from 2005 through 2009.
It reflects the best parts of my experience during that time. And looking back, I have grown so much and learned so much, it is clear that I am a blessed man.
If you are so inclined, please take a tour for a few minutes and enjoy the journey with me.
I often hear your voice -
sometimes a snippet of a recent conversation,
but mostly just the echo of how you sound,
not so much the words.
It is the way I hear your gentle whisper in my ear
when your lips are very close,
the sound so quiet,
a person two feet away
could not decipher your secret message.
It is the feeling of your voice.
The sense of what it feels like when we’re close.
It is your presence,
and I can feel your breath.
Sometimes I get a flash,
a passing picture of your head
tilting to the left or right,
the way you throw your head back gently
when you’re laughing,
the fun belly gut laugh
that gives me so much joy to hear.
I think of the moments
when I remember holding you,
when you have cried and sobbed in my arms,
and I just held on until the very last drop
until you fell asleep or
until the heaves of breath subsided.
I think of your skin the way it smells.
the way it wrinkles gently with a certain touch,
as if in preparation for the next…
the apprehensive quiver of anticipation of
electric skin;
the way my hands can sense the slightest
ripple of reaction or contraction with almost no physical contact.
Those hands of mine are pretty smart when it comes to your skin.
I see you running to me with your arms wide open,
with your succulent heart and laser eyes,
I hold you close and smell your hair
and for half an hour,
you are my air.
I hold your fingers in my hands
and touch every single place
on every digit with the tip of my index finger
for an hour…
How do I think of you when I’m alone?
I sit and look at you for hours
from the back when you are reading,
or scripting at the computer
or from the side to see your spralling beauty
as you sleep quietly,
playing wrap around pillow games with your knees.
I see the kindness in your eyes when you speak
and the love in your eyes and heart when you touch
or when you hold a little Christa
or an Emma
or a Lindy
I think of walks along the beach
at Trainer in New Jersey
and private Wildwood moments.
walking around the lake at Tarva
golden memories
in the master Covey bedroom
and the kitchen
enjoying Isagenix shakes and salads
and working side by side computing
sharing joy of quiet and aloneness
And in the master bath
I feel the shower on my skin
as I lather your back
and legs
and stomach with the soap
and feel the warmth
and soothing security
of water turning Holy in your presence
I think of eating Sunday breakfast
on our final day at Long Branch
the very week we met
and how easy words could flow between us
through intermingled comfort in the air
How do I think of you when I’m alone?
I hear every word we left unsaid
each time we went away angry
without resolution
and the lingering anguish
of unforgiven thoughts
or the unspoken words that needed saying
how empty it feels
to not have had the strength
and sense of present moment
in the living
to honor love
when the chance was there
and only now
to think and speak alone
the unthought and unspoken
thought and word
that would have been so easy
How do I think of you when I’m alone?
I think of you beside me
With wonder in the air
living every moment
and living every share.
I see us loving deeper yet
in realms unknown by most
I see us letting go
and letting go again
walking in alignment
in the garden of our joy
until the horizon of our life
and you and me are one.
This video is becoming a big part of my life theme.
As co-creators we have so much power within our consciousness. Every act, every visualization, every thought, every intention and every word creates the world around us.
Truly, we have forgotten the power of Blessing. Let us remember exactly what that means.
To Bless is such a simple act. Yet so powerful - it changes the world and brings more Light into the world every time we do it. Bless your life at every moment.
The Gentle and Forgotten Art of Blessings
Quoting from “The Game of Life,”
The enlightened man, therefore, endeavors to perfect himself upon his neighbor. His work is with himself, to send out goodwill and blessings to every man, and the marvelous thing is, that if one blesses a man he has no power to harm him.
Remember to bless everything.
It is an act of faith upon which the law of attraction is activated.
Bless without expectation or without knowing or trying to figure out what will happen. Bless and allow.
It changes the world and removes the negative from your life, your mind and your emotions.
Blessings of Divine Light, Love, Joy and Prosperity.
“Michael, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.
Stopped by the other day, but no one was home.
Guess you didn’t see the note.
So, I just called to say I LOVE YOU.
I want you to know there are no limits to my love for you.
I came to comfort you and open your heart.”
” I waved at you yesterday when you were facing west, looking at the Bitterroot
Mountains. I saw the joy and appreciation in your heart.
I thought you saw ME when I heard you say,
“I love these mountains.”
But I guess you didn’t.
I keep sending little Teagen over to tell you,
“I LOVE YOU.”
And you always smile and hug him back,
and say,
“I love you too little buddy.”
“Michael, every time he looks up at you,
and you see that sparkle in his eyes,
that’s ME.
And each time he reaches up to hug you,
It’s me reaching out to comfort and give you strength.
Each time you feel lost, call out MY NAME
And I will touch your heart and open it a little further and help you release.”
“And I know you felt how much I loved you
when you read Kathy’s poem
And you cried so deeply.
I know it touched your heart,
It was ME - loving you.”
“WE all missed you at Sangha Sunday.
That loving beautiful energy of yours
was clearly missing in the meditation.
Your voice and your love was missing in the songs,
And your seat was empty.
So many of your Spiritual family are praying for you.
They talk to ME about you all the time.
They all want ME to tell you how much they love you,
and that you matter and that you’re beautiful,
and they want me to remind you how much I LOVE YOU.
Just in case you forgot…
“I said goodnight to you yesterday
when you were watching the sunset.
I was peeking through the clouds and I sparkled MY LOVE FOR YOU.
When you felt that joy from the shear beauty,
That was ME.
I sent you COMPASSION yesterday when you
were looking at the picture of Divine Mother.
I know you felt the energy go up your arms and into your heart,
And then you cried tears of compassion and understanding.
When you asked ME,
“How can I learn to forgive and be in the moment and forgive myself?”
I sent FORGIVENESS to you.
You asked ME,
“Father, teach me to be humble and quit living in my head, and start living in my heart?”
You asked ME,
“Father, teach me how to quit judging people.”
You didn’t pay attention, so to get your attention, I made you homeless
and let you sleep in the car for a while to contemplate the teaching.
I showed you how it feels to feel invisible and unnoticed and really alone.
So I taught you humility,
and taught you compassion.
I think you got the message.”
“Michael, I just called to tell you that you’re perfect
and the universe would not be the same without you.
You don’t have to change a thing.
I LOVE YOU unconditionally just the way your are.
“I remember when you were a little boy, you were
two years old and you asked me,”
“What did I do to make my Daddy go away?
Why doesn’t my Daddy love me GOD?
Maybe if I were a better person, he would love me.
Would you make me a better person, GOD?”
“And I told you then, Michael, you are total and complete
and perfect and I love you infinitely, you don’t have
to change a thing.
But I guess, you didn’t believe me.
I just want to know that everything you desire and everything you deserve is coming your way.
Your life is changing because I am finally getting through to you.
You are expanding into who you really are and nothing can stop you.
I had to empty your heart - to get the pain and confusion out and refill it with MY LOVE.
I had to take everything away you owned and everything you loved to make you stop and get your attention.
But I did this because I love you.
You asked me over and over again,
Show me how to be your conduit for your Divine Light from deep within m y heart. Make your light shine through me so that I may shine it into the
hearts of everyone I meet.”
Know that you already shine MY LIGHT from your beautiful heart into every
body you meet - you’ve been doing it for a long time.
You are a beacon, a bearer of Light, the bringer of the Divine Message that there is nothing else but love.
You are that Love because you are part of me.
Everything is in Divine order.
Just be patient.
When you asked me:
“How I can learn to love myself the way you love me?” And will you help me release my resistance to fully
receiving your love and being present with it?
over and over again - each time I told you the same thing.
My LOVE for you is eternal.
My LOVE for you is absolutely infinite.
It has always been and will always be.
Michael, whenever you forget, remind yourself that I am always here for you.
Loving me is easy when you look inside yourself and remember I am here.
You just need more practice.
There’s nothing else you need to do or change or learn.
Just be ALL THAT YOU ARE, just be You.
So, I just called to say I LOVE YOU.
I want you to know there are no limits to my love for you.
I came to comfort you and open your heart.
Aum, Peace, Amen
We have been friends for 28 years. It has been nine years since I saw him last (until four days ago) and our level of communication and understanding each other is as close and deep as if we had been continuously developing our relationship that whole time.
We share a level of communication as men that is unusual in many ways. Ours is a Spiritual connection as are all of my close friendships. But unlike many relationships I have with other men, he and I share a common knowing of artistic and philosophical depth and understanding that is unparalleled.
He is one of the few individuals in my life who really has a read on whom I am, who has such a deep intellectual and emotional connection with me that he always reads me correctly and over the course of my 28 year friendship, has never once given me bad advice.
When he told me that this was his favorite poem ever. I had to read it. After I read it, I had to share it. I am never surprised by my friend any longer - only continuously amazed. This is love to me.
See why he calls this his favorite poem ever…
Touch Me…
Summer is late, my heart.
Words plucked out of the air
some forty years ago
when I was wild with love
and torn almost in two
scatter like leaves this night
of whistling wind and rain.
It is my heart that’s late,
it is my song that’s flown.
Outdoors all afternoon
under a gunmetal sky
staking my garden down,
I kneeled to the crickets trilling
underfoot as if about
to burst from their crusty shells;
and like a child again
marveled to hear so clear
and brave a music pour
from such a small machine.
What makes the engine go?
Desire, desire, desire.
The longing for the dance
stirs in the buried life.
One season only,
and it’s done.
So let the battered old willow
thrash against the windowpanes
and the house timbers creak.
Darling, do you remember
the man you married? Touch me,
remind me who I am. - Stanley Kunitz
Copyright (c) 1995
by Stanley Kunitz
